I am a much happier person now than I was six months ago. Or a year ago. Or two, or five, or ten, for that matter. I won't say I'm doing the best I ever have, since I had a pretty idyllic childhood, but the past four months have been the nicest of my adult life.
Why? Well, I think the biggest change is something personal I'm not quite ready to share with the wide web (ask again in another six months), but beyond that has been a very intentional attempt to be kinder, more caring, more upbeat, more charitable and more optimistic.
And you know what? It's worked. I smile more. I like people better (though I still don't like crowds - I'm more Hathawa than Wend, and always will be).
I've often been borderline depressive. Never diagnosed - but I suspect that's as much because I didn't have anyone close to me to drag me to the doctor's office when I didn't come out of my room except to eat for a month at a time. It was just normal, the way I went through life.
I still do feel that way, some days. The power of magical thinking isn't a miracle cure. But at least now I have a better baseline to compare against - to realize that "this is not normal, I am thinking strangely" when I decide that getting up to eat is more effort than it's worth.
Basically, every time I notice I'm having a negative thought - no matter how innocent - I ask myself: "Is there a better way to think about this?" Earlier, I had the thought that a coworker was an idiot for introducing a security hole. Then I realized I was being negative, and decided that I would instead think that he was clearly focused on the front-end, and I'll have to carefully look over any server work he does.
Same thought both times, equally true, but one makes me annoyed and the other reminds me of what he's good at.
This is not advice. I am not selling anything. I just wanted to share, because I like to share when things are going well. I hope you are all well too!