Taking a break

Sun, 01/05/2014 - 02:13 -- BlueWinds

So, I'm going to take a break from the sex stuff for a little while to talk about something often related, but not synonymous - love. It's sort of been on my mind recently.

Go through http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/. It won't take more than a few minutes. I don't own the book, don't plan to read the book, am not shilling the book, but the short profile was interesting and oddly soothing. It will also be helpful for understanding the rest of this post.

First I'm going to talk about me, then about each of the main women in the game so far.

BlueWinds: My primary language is Service - "Let me do that for you" is the dearest expression of love I know. When my mother visits, we tend to end up disagreeing whenever we talk, but I finally understand why I feel so much closer to her in-person than over the phone - because she does the dishes. I don't care all that much when she tells me she loves me, but I know she does when she washes the dishes and wipes down the counters while I'm cooking breakfast.

Along those same lines, the recently concluded Image Search Contest and the Image Editing threads on the forum are my favorite parts of this site. People saying "awesome job, really enjoyed the game" are nice, but I feel so warm and fuzzy inside when I realize that people here like the game enough to spend time helping me.

 


I will never get annoyed with people sending in grammatical nitpicks and typos. I feel super inspired when you spend to time to proofread. I often go directly from correcting typos someone has pointed out to writing more content.

 


Alison: Alison needs physical contact. As Wend puts it, she won't believe you like her until you've had sex. That's not really true (Wend's exaggerating), but Alison really won't trust you unless you touch her, and let her touch you. A stiff hug is the same in her mind as a hurtful insult. Secondarily, she needs compliments - telling her she's doing good, or that she's pretty or sexy will light up her day.

Antinua: Antinua needs Quality Time. She feels, as much as she feels anything, a warm glow when Hathawa focuses on her, and her alone. She feels needed and important and special when Hathawa someone drops everything to say hello when she enters the room. It's why she and Hathawa get along so well - Hathawa is willing to spend hours curled up in her lap silently or listening to her speak.

Hathawa: Hathawa also needs quality time. She feels distant and unconnected with her parents because they seldom spent time together when she was young. She feels cold and alone at the university because no matter how much her professors smile and know her name, none of them have invited her into their homes. She doesn't know what to do with compliments - they feel forced and artificial, and gifts are just... money. But she knows Antinua loves her because they sleep in the same bed, and Antinua combs her hair, and Antinua likes to take her along when she goes places.

Hilde: Hilde enjoys getting gifts. Not expensive gifts, but just little tokens of appreciation. If you forget her birthday, you're in for a little slice of hell. A little glass bird is crystallized care and thoughtfulness. Paying back your loan on time is not just an issue of trustworthiness, but respect. Despite her physicality, she doesn't really equate sex with love - for her it's more, to be blunt, a form of manipulation.

Wend: Wend is more or less an even split between Words of Affirmation and Gift Giving. She displays the second in a very different way than Hilde - remember all those times she gives you food, whether you wanted it or not? Stuffed a doughnut in your mouth, offered you orange juice, invited you to eat a pineapple with her? Yeah, she was being silly, but she was also being affectionate in the best way she knows how. For her sex is almost the opposite of love. You have sex with people you don't care about.

Comments

Terryble on

Wow, thanks for this BlueWinds, I came away from all this feelings a little better about myself. The test result actually makes a lot more sense than I thought it would and it explains some things that I do. I'm a Quality Time person, I often take a weekend off and drive to my sister's apartment and just hang out with her. We don't really have to do anything but just being with her makes me feel better, having that time together is so important to me.

I love that you've broken all this down for each character in the game, is this something you've thought about in the past but never put into words or is this something that's new to you and helping you get a better understanding of your own characters? It's interesting to consider how those characteristics will/can interact with those of the person playing the game. If you're a Quality Time person you probably want to spend as much time as you can having tea with Hathawa but if you're a Physical Touch person you'll probably spend all day at the Brothel or with Alison.

All that is probably not something you could resonably program your game to track but you could see somebody having a project where they can adjust their game based on a profile of the player they build over time based on these traits.

Anyway, that's my stream of conciousness. By the way, any time you want to start a new Image Cleaning thread go for it! :D

BlueWinds on

Most of it I have thought about in the past (Antinua and Hathawa's relationship, Wend's feelings, Alison's love of touch), but some of it was new - specifically, I hadn't thought much about Hilde in this regard.

AColonyOfAnts on

You really don't mind?  Alright then:

I often go directly from correcting typos someone has pointed out writing more content to writing more content correcting typos someone has pointed out.

 

It's a good thing you feel that way though, because I would've otherwise had an "Ah, fuck it, I'm not going to bother" attitude when it comes down to editing.

Anyhow, I ended up (unsurprisingly to me) with a primary language of Quality Time, with Service/Touch/Affirmation tied at 6 or 7.  I definitely enjoy cuddles though, but that just might be an offshoot of spending time together.

I look at the second image and I just can't shake the idea of goth Emi.

AColonyOfAnts on

Thinking about this quiz, however, I realize it feels slightly one-dimensional.  Everything about the questions is "would you rather a person show you X or Y affection," but nothing about what you yourself would do.  True, I feel most loved when somene does spend quality time with me, but I feel like I express my own love strongly through Service.  Or, for example, someone might be loved via Affirmation, but expresses their love through Gifts.  In my opinion, the quiz should've made the distinction between recieving and giving love.

M.A. (not verified) on

The test seemed entirely to be about what makes You feel loved rather than how you express your love to others.

I would presume normally people use the same method that makes them personally feel loved to show love to others. Some more considerate/thoughtful individuals probably go out of that area if they feel someone appreciates other methods more. I also guess there are some people that just show love in completely different way than they themselves like receiving it. But that goes beyond what the profile quiz was about.

Wizard on

Huh... that was actually a very interesting quiz. Got the highest score for Quality Time and Service, almost had nothing for Physical Contact. Which is very me actually. I'm not a hugging sort of person and I really do appreciate people when they spend time with me.

Hmmmmm... It's something to ponder at least.

 

Oh and a reason I keep coming back to this blog is because of the community that's been built around the game. All these insightful comments into people's lives, I know they're basically strangers but some of what they say could be applied in my own life.

So... I'll be here... lurking.

Smokebomb. *Runs away.*

Jyeti on

A couple of the questions talk about going on a trip or going out somewhere with friends or loved ones, but to me it would be much better to spend time with them at a home: talk in comfort, play card games or board games, snuggle up to a good movie we've already seen ten times, even shovel snow together. But then maybe some of it has to do with experiences. Most trips out, in my experience, have not been to something I'd enjoy, but simply to something 'people' enjoy. Like an amusement park.

Then again, even going to a place or event I'd love to see is more to enjoy the trip and not the people. Maybe if the whole point was to spend time together and the place was simply ambiance and not a true place of interesting distractions or the event involved working closely together... then, maybe it would be a way to show love and be loved. Sorry about the tangent, it just seemed like it could color the responses in a way that had little to do with a person's love language. Perhaps I'm wrong though.

I got a 10 quality time, 10 physical touch, 6 acts of service, 2 receiving gifts, and 2 words of affirmation point spread in any case. I guess it mostly makes sense. The top two are the ones I've found myself pining for at times. Mostly in the form of hugs and family card games (smiles and chatter going on the whole time). And acts of service may be why I enjoy helping with typos and grammar and occasional other acts for game creators that I enjoy... or it could just be because I'm a picky player wanting to polish the games into pearls. :3 I'm always worried about offending or burdening creators with typo findings if I don't know they desire to know them though. There I go on a tangent again.... in any case, thanks for the interesting link and the analysis of your characters.

BlueWinds on

I scored
12 Acts of Service
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
5 Physical Touch
0 Receiving Gifts

I know what you mean about the "Quality Time" related questions - I found those awkward in a similar, but slightly different way. I really like watching a movie, or going to an amusement park, or running with someone, but not walking, or talking, or eating a meal. If it were split into "Time Talking" / "Time Doing Things Together", a more accurate representation of me might be:

13 Acts of Service
7 Doing Things Together
5 Words of Affirmation
3 Physical Touch
2 Time Talking
0 Receiving Gifts

That is to say, about half the questions about Quality Time sounded really nice, and half of them were "meh, sounds uncomfortable, either they're going to spend the whole evening talking and feeling put off that I'm not 'engaged', or we're going to be awkwardly quiet" which lowered Quality Time's rating and raised the other ratings around it.