Women on the internet

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 12:43 -- BlueWinds

Yesterday, I got my very first "internet threat." Some anonymous commenter here on this blog decided to threaten me. He probably thought he was making a joke - it came across like that was the intent. I didn't approve the comment, obviously.

I don't think it's a coincidence that it happened soon after I openly announced that I'm a woman.

Version 0.72

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 01:40 -- BlueWinds

So, this is a very small release - it has only a single new event, a variant for talking with Alison. It does however have large numbers of textual corrections. Special thanks to AColonyOfAnts for their through thorough proofreading.

Known issues with this release:

Haven't gotten around to fixing that one yet.

There are also some very small tweaks to the backer story - just a couple of typos fixed, no need to re-download or reread for ~10 letters difference.


In lieu of new content, I'll link you to a visual novel I recently enjoyed - Rising Angels: Reborn. It's not the deepest of plots, but moves along at a nice pace and I really like the characters and the visuals.

Super bonus points for having a cute MC named Natalie. I really like that name (no, it's not mine).

It's a little bit trope-tastic, but remember that tropes aren't a bad thing! They're what stories are made of. The only complaint I had was that the villain is a little too obvious from the get-go. It didn't need a twist, just another scene or two to make them more likeable before the long-predicted betrayal.

Taking a break

Sun, 01/05/2014 - 02:13 -- BlueWinds

So, I'm going to take a break from the sex stuff for a little while to talk about something often related, but not synonymous - love. It's sort of been on my mind recently.

Go through http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/. It won't take more than a few minutes. I don't own the book, don't plan to read the book, am not shilling the book, but the short profile was interesting and oddly soothing. It will also be helpful for understanding the rest of this post.

First I'm going to talk about me, then about each of the main women in the game so far.

Updated Demo, Version 0.7 and Backer Story

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 00:00 -- BlueWinds
More sex scenes
62% (50 votes)
More non-sex scenes
6% (5 votes)
Current Balance is Good
32% (26 votes)
Total votes: 81

Update: 0.71 contains bugfixes. It has only one "new" event (which was previously inaccessible) - a female version of Hilde's event if you visit her instead of the Guild party.

The poll question is just because I'm curious what people would like to see in the future. Compared to the current ballance of content, would you like to see anything change?

I have updated the public demo. It is a massively stripped down version of the current development release, with about 3/4 of the content removed. As I'm sure you'll see, there's still plenty of people to meet and things to do - you'll just have to imagine how the game plays when I haven't subjected it to a hacksaw.

Version 0.7 is attached to this post. If you're a backer, enjoy. I couldn't finish Hilde's Hire sequence in time, but there is a lot of new content in this release, including dozens of images for Alison (who can be hired), and first scene involving both Wend and Hilde together. It won't be the last.

The backer-exclusive story "Snow" is also attached. ~6000 words. If you donated at the $35 level, you should be able to see it. If you can't, comment here *including the Offbeatr username with which you supported*. I put an event in the game which prompts you to read the story - you are of course free to do so whenever you please, but it might be nice to wait for proper context (hire Hathawa and Antinua, then talk to Antinua a bunch to get it). Check here if you're interested in getting access to the story but haven't supported yet.

This is my first time publishing a PDF. I'm not really an editior or layout person, so please excuse any ugliness.


Have a good day, week and new year. :)


:sigh: Parents.

My mother is dear to me, but she does not understand me in the slightest. She says she really wants to know what I'm thinking or feeling... then tells me I'm wrong. Doesn't make all that much sense, for someone else to tell me that I'm not really feeling what I'm feeling. No, I am not interested in my housmate, no matter how good of friends we are or how "compatible" you've decided I am with him.

I was a little angry, and am glad the battery on my phone died and ended the call before I got more angry. Now I'm just feeling lonely. That picture does me pretty good justice right now.

Coming out would (I feel) be much easier if she flatly opposed it, rather than thinking she was being supportive and in the same sentence pushing a hetronormative agenda. It's been about a year, and I think she's getting worse about it rather than better.

As far as she knows, I'm "just" a lesbian. Hearing me write about prostitution and slave collars would give her a heart attack.


I only just realized that this makes the backer story sound like a self-insert. I promise you, it isn't. I am very, very different from Hathawa, and my parents are nothing like hers. Just poor timing on my part to have a frustrating phone conversation with her that made me want to share and be releasing the story on the same day.

Development Snapshot: 

Google Docs - thumbs down

Mon, 12/30/2013 - 14:10 -- BlueWinds

So, I have a lot of problems with Google docs on a philosophical level, but here's a practical one:

They do user-agent sniffing.

I use Firefox Nightly (cutting edge release), and Google Docs works fine... unless I block my user agent string (which I normally do for privacy reasons). Then it renders in compatibility mode and I can't edit anything. This is dumb.

Google, stop being dumb. I'm currently announcing to Google Docs that I'm running Firefox 4 on Windows NT, and that seems to make it happy.

Dune and progress

Sat, 12/28/2013 - 00:04 -- BlueWinds

So, minor change of policy here: I'm going to keep the front page vaguely worksafe as far as images are concerned from now on. There will still be adult text, and images in the posts themeselves, but they won't be visible unless you click on an a post.

Why? To make the front page a little less visually shocking, mostly for my own benefit. I kept getting... startled? Caught off guard? Something like that anyway, by the tentacle image when it was up here as the first post.



I had a good day yesterday. I bought chocolate icecream, chips and salasa and then settled down to read. And read. And read. And get more icecream. And read.

Dune, dune, dune-de-dune dune dune... I re-read the entire 500 page book yesterday, cover to cover, nonstop except for a single break to get more icecream. It's my favorite piece of literature of all time - both as Fiction and as Philosophy. Frank Herbert reaches depths of profundity that most philosophers can only dream of - and with a degree in Philosophy, I don't make that claim lightly.

I am currently resisting the urge to pick up the rest of the series and spend the entire weekend rereading them as well. If the Jan 1st release is late, you'll know what to blame. ^^;;

What should I write about?

Mon, 12/23/2013 - 15:40 -- BlueWinds

I'm curious what people care about. Which things should I put here in the coming year, and which stay silent on?

The Game: Everyone who votes check this. That way everyone can easily see how many votes have been cast.
91% (558 votes)
Anime / Manga / Computer games: What I'm watching, what I like and what annoys me.
46% (283 votes)
Programming: Various interesting tidbits I come across related to computers, Javascript and generally being a nerd.
38% (236 votes)
Explicit: I met a nice man the other week. I'm not into men, but he gave me a butt plug because he thought I was pretty. *^^*
38% (235 votes)
Feminism: Links to articles and my take on them. How to write and enjoy dirty kinky porn and still respect yourself.
30% (184 votes)
My life (non-sexual): My other job? That I live is Seattle? That I enjoy west-coast swing, but am out of practice?
25% (158 votes)
Random stuff: Hehe, moonwalk (http://bit.ly/1gl4lI2). Bouncy Animals (http://bit.ly/1dz7Yox).
24% (150 votes)
Cooking: I make delicious homemade meals pretty often. Do you want pictures and descriptions and stuff?
23% (142 votes)
Total votes: 611

Alison Image Contest (Finished)

Sat, 12/21/2013 - 00:21 -- BlueWinds

Update: See this comment for details on the winners.

Update: See this comment for a current tally of what images I've liked and what I'm still looking for. Thanks for the help so far!

So, here's something awesome you all can help me with, whether you're a supporter or not: find images of Alison! You can find a gallery of her current images here. I need to add about two dozen more - many of them of her having sex in various ways (oral, voginal, anal, bdsm, tentacles, etc.) but also in various non-erotic situations/moods (surprised, sad, running, cleaning, smirking).

Please comment here with links to images you think fit her here - links to the page you found it on, not direct to the image itself.

On Dec 31st I'll be giving out those prizes to the best helpers. That's not based on quantity of submissions, but quality - four chosen people who "get" Alison and can help me fill out her image gallery will get one of:

  • Development Access (if you're not a backer already)
  • The backer exclusive story (if you're a backer without access)
  • Custom sex scene of ~150 words (if you already have both of the above)

Alison is: short, aggressive, horny, thin, young, energetic, grins a lot, excitable, angry, confident, small-breasted, long haired in a twin-tail, will fuck anyone anytime, no sense of modesty, is sexy and she knows it and she wants everyone else to know it too.

Images you submit do *not* need to have black hair or yellow/red eyes - I can change that. Images you submit *must* have the proper personality and attitude. Alison might blush, but she's never shy.

I look forward to hearing from you. (^^)

Favorite worker poll (also release plans)

Thu, 12/19/2013 - 16:07 -- BlueWinds
8% (3 votes)
11% (4 votes)
27% (10 votes)
27% (10 votes)
27% (10 votes)
Total votes: 37

Who's your favorite character so far? It's not an entirely fair question, since Alison shows up only briefly while I've written about Hathawa way too much, but cast your vote anyway. This poll won't influence anything, I'm just sort of curious and thought others might be as well.


On another subject, here are my current plans for holiday presents for you all:

  • The Internet: I'm going to give you an update to the demo. It'll be the current version of the game with most of the content stripped out, to give you a better idea of how it actually plays.
  • Supporters: I'm going to give you a release with both Hilde and Alison hireable. Alison will still be short a bunch of images, but whatever.
  • $35+ supporters: I'll be putting out the backer-exclusive story for download as a PDF and .odt (I stick my tongue out at .doc).

Speaking of which, I am not very good at organization, and I didn't always keep the best track of things. If you expect to be getting the backer exclusive story (that is, you donated $35 or more) and can't see a text file attached here, please comment here and include your Offbeatr username. I've marked about... 2/3rds of you, those I could track down. Heh. ^^;;

The text file is empty, nothing interesting inside, but let me know now if you can't see it so you won't have to wait when I put the actual story up. Anyone interested in a 5000+ word piece of fiction, there's still time. You'll get to see how I write when I'm not limited to a serial panel format. ;)


After consulting the previous poll and the comments below, I've decided not to release the full game at the end of the year - it will be a couple of months later than that. Before release, I'm going to finish the backer rewards - which, conveniently, also cover almost all the content I promised in the Offbeatr campaign. Not all of it though - expect 4-6 months of storyline, rather than a full 12 (it takes a lot of stuff to keep someone entertained with novel events for 365 days * 3 turns per day!).


No progress made

Sat, 12/14/2013 - 13:50 -- BlueWinds

Well, almost no progress. I did start writing some new stuff related to moving the plot forward and hiring Hilde - she'll be hireable at the third loan payment, which will be easier to meet than the second one.

I also am in contact with an artist who's doing some drawings for Hilde. So there's that too.

Otherwise I've been mostly slacking off. Eh, it happens. Let me fiil the void by linking to another excellent article on being a feminist and writing dirty, kinky porn. I really like Gretta Christina's writing (at least her writing about writing - I haven’t read any of her fiction).

It’s not as if coming out about being kinky, or even having kinky fantasies, is totally accepted and mainstream. Sure, it’s slightly more so now since 50 Shades came out. But still. Whenever I hear this line about how female masochism is just giving our sexist culture what it wants from women, I always want to ask, “What on earth makes you think that society is applauding women for being sexual masochists? What planet are you living on? And can I live there, please?”

Later, she speaks pretty directly to my own experience. This is, in a nutshell, why I write smut, and why I scrapped version one of the game and started over. It's also a challenge to other adult game developers:

I agree that a huge amount of porn is unbelievably sexist. Absolutely. No argument. But I’ve never thought that the answer to this was to continue demonizing porn and shaming the people who enjoy it. I’ve always thought that the answer to this was to demand better porn.

I am demanding better porn. I am demanding porn that isn’t just an inventory of body parts and physical acts. I am demanding porn that conveys the emotions of sex, the sensations, the meaning. I am demanding porn that gets you inside the characters: porn that gets you feeling what they’re feeling, thinking what they’re thinking, wanting what they’re wanting... I am demanding porn with a plot that doesn’t disrupt the sex: porn that isn’t just “plot, sex, plot, sex...” I am demanding porn that the creators give a damn about. I am demanding porn that presents women as subjects of the story, and that gives a damn about what they want.

And I hope that I’m providing it.


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